TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
In a dark underground livingroom a Mole is doing his best to put up the decorations. His, partner, Mrs Mole is out spending more worms than he can afford and he's just about come to terms with a christmas visit from his mother in law. Suddenly the whole room begins vibrating as a group of humans, with sound crew, once again do their best to remove the Mole family, dead or alive, from a piece of ground its taken Mr. Mole months to get in order.
The person responsible for this assault is Jeremy Vine of Radio 2. For two weeks, me and my dog Eric have had to listen to this cowardly act. It has to be stopped. Welsh Moles are highly regarded in Wales, probably. More importantly it's christmas and if you cant give a family of Moles a break, then what's the bloody point of it?
If you see Jeremy Vine, or know somebody that will, tell him that Barry and Eric said 'Leave the the Mole family's hairy little bums alone'.
Thank You
Barry and Eric.
-------------------------------------
Dear all,
Eric and I are fully decorated and fully festinated. Before we move on to the second instalment I thought It might be an idea to save my friends and relatives from the worry of what to get me and eric for christmas. We've done a list.
1. A matching pair of Philipino maids; must be able to type and make tea.
2. The 'Burns' guitar Kellogs owe me for a competition I entered circa 1965.
3. Computer melt down at every company that has me down as a debtor, BT, Water, Rates etc.
4. A computer error at the benefits agency in my favour for 5 grand.
5. Luxury state visit to the Valley of the Kings. 250,000 quid.
6. A millionairess with a reckless disreguard for her sanity who is prepared to save me and Eric from ourselves, must also be able to type and make tea.
7. Free 'access all areas' passes for every festival of our choice next summer.
8. Knowledge of whereabouts of my marbles, somebody must know something.
9. To see a headline in national newspaper that says 'History made as Barry and Eric win Nobel peace prize, Turner prize, Booker prize, National lottery and Crufts in same year.'
10. The understanding from all my alleged friends and relatives that until such time as parts 1 to 9 start happening, you'll be getting bugger all from me and 'E' this Christmas.
I trust that will help you. You may now read on. Click here for the second section
Barry and Eric, 15th Dec 04. ('Jingle bells, jingle bells' 'Shut up')
-------------------------------------
The 19th draws closer, and as promised, the first part of Volume 2, titled 'Released into the community' has been posted to the site. Click here to go and read it. Also, a Guestbook has been added for comments about the book, see the contact page for details.
-------------------------------------
Well, summer has gone, and winter is weaselling it's way in. There's a new writing covering the last couple of events of the summer, and the finding of a winter place for me and Lord Eric. Have a look here for the text and here for some pictures. This part marks the last of the book two bits, so updates will be appearing here (or on the extracts page) forthwith.